A quick (really quick) review regarding the pros’s and con’s of not having children can be summed up easily at my age. Yes, it’s sad to miss out on the rite of passage: giving birth. But it’s also nice to have slim hips and no stretch marks. I still have nice hips but they aren’t as flexible in certain yoga postures like birthing hips are. Yes, it’s a bummer not being able to use my innate motherly qualities (not every woman has them by the way), but there are many children that need that love and nurturing. I do miss the fun one has with children because dancing with a kid like a lunatic is quite invigorating. That said, the music today makes me miss the days of The Go Go’s and even The Spice Girls.
My God is music for kids today scary. It’s beyond scary, it’s insulting.
I had drinks with a neighbor the other night and she told me that her 17 year old son is a drummer obsessed with Jazz. Imagine that? Seriously, imagine it. Quite amazing if you ask me. It gives me hope.
But on a sadder note, even the women I know who have had children have something in common with whacky, bohemian me: they are single. I used to blame myself (easy to do) for my dating woes but how can I know so many single women? We can’t all have the same affliction can we? I know women that are married to wonderful men and these women should be drawn and quartered for their behavior; yet I know a host of decent, beautiful women who are single.
It could be our age group, it could be the city, it could be a million things. The one thing we do all have in common is that we are fairly independent. But none of these women want to be “the man” in a relationship. They are just used to taking care of themselves, their children and whatever comes with the life of a single, middle aged woman.
And hey- this is Los Angeles; these women are BEAUTIFUL. All different looking, all different in every way actually. Another thing we have in common is that we are really strong, perhaps too strong- like pioneer women. That doesn’t mean that these women do not have soft skin, soft hearts, and the desires of any woman.
So perhaps at our age we bum rush the show on certain men because we don’t have time to lose. We understand that time is precious, that we are precious and that men are precious too. But if I can read, write, cook, drive a truck, paint, use a skill saw, get a manicure, wear heels and a tight dress, that doesn’t mean I don’t want a man to do the same. Okay so I don’t want a man to wear a dress and heels but you get my drift.
We don’t want equals, we just want courage. We still want a man to defend our honor – not tell us we were doing fine and could handle a masher on our own. These are the kind of men we know- the lazy knights too full of mead and too self-absorbed to come to our aid. If you say the word Chivalry they think it is a strip club.
Chivalry is a dead word.
I’m ever hopeful because one must be; but it makes me sad to see all the damaged people out there in the world. As I’ve said before, scratch the surface on most adults and there is a story. Everyone has their battle scars, some more visible than others but we have to keep moving. We must remain hopeful and crave knowledge, write poetry, cook, garden, dance, make asses out of ourselves. The God’s approve.
I guess I should stop calling you Walter? LOL 🙂
lol! My apologies!
Hmmm, just like Alternativepoet, you threw me for a loop. You see, here is the new reality — the blurring of gender. I am not saying that gender blur is a bad thing, but it certainly makes terms like chivarly difficult to define. Hell, I don’t know if I should open the door for a woman anymore. If another man insults your lady what are you to do? Challenge him to a duel? Knock him to the floor? In today’s world the law would through you in the brig…but judge, that asshole insulted my lady. The judge would look at his rigid dry cold code book and wouldn’t find anything in there relating to Chivalry. And what exactly can a man do today that would resemble courage and chivalry — dress up in a suit (his armor) and carry his brief case (his sword) and drive his car (his horse) to battle (the corporate world) and sit at a desk starring at a computer? And how is he to court women…at an on-line dating site, at a bar dropping some ridiculous lines in an attempt to standout from all the other monkeys waiting in line…with goal to punch in on the first meeting…which isn’t out of the question these days, for remember, women want sex right away just like the men.
I fear there are no longer dragons to slay…only ourselves 😉
I don’t like to reference my own posts on someones website as the whole “you read mine and I’ll read yours” idea annoys me…but you might enjoy a quick read and some of the comments are pretty funny.
I love your site and the comments made there! Quite witty. I apologize for the gender bending but I have my personal reasons. Plus for the most part I do not write gender specific posts because I feel we are all in this mess together. My metaphors of chivalry etc are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. But I do feel that the line between men and women is so blurred these days that nobody knows what to do anymore. Women are too aggressive and men too passive…? I just know that I am tired of being treated as though I am not precious, rare and worthy of love and respect. I treat everyone I know with love and respect (I do) but my choices in men are notoriously stupid…probably Freudian. Eeeww.
I don’t expect a man on a horse to come up to my door and sweep me off my feet but it would be nice if he had a shower, a car and was willing to pay for dinner and tell me I’m pretty. Why is that so much to ask for? I’m not a money grubbing bitch on wheels. Maybe I should be!
Also, I do not want my man to get into brawls but if another man is hitting on me in front of him it would be nice if he made it clear to the man that I was his chattel and not up for auction. (Kidding about the chattel thing.)
Maybe it’s Los Angeles…and maybe I’m just too old fashioned.
Well, your requirements shouldn’t be too hard to find, but that is a far cry from chivalry and courage. I guess I have been rather fortunate in my relationships in that they all had periods of romance, obstacles to overcome to be together, but even these proved not to endure past five years…except for a marriage that lasted nine but was dead at about seven. I have never been into the one nighter or one month deal…although I did have weaknesses for dark side pleasures but nothing with any type of relationship in mind…yes I had a serious strip club fetish for a period of time…when the marriage had died. I know and have seen a lot of men and women that fulfill and nurture that dark side with eachother outside of the strip club environment. Perhaps these women need to take a little more time and look in different places for their men besides bars and night clubs…but the online dating game doesn’t appeal to me at all…and I think that it is just a virtual bar or night club setting.
The only reason I wrote this piece was because I am hearing so many stories from so many single women it is shocking.
Hold out for the Knight in shining armour, I’m sure he’ll soon arrive… 😊
Ah, a poet is one of humankind’s great gifts…to the heart of the matter with beauty and economy of words.
Thanks for the kind words tincup…😊
I plan on it.
In my experience. I think men love to chase powerful, strong, independent women, it’s great for their ego. But once they have charmed us and captured our heart, they either become bored or expect us to be their mother by cooking, cleaning and picking up after them. As well as being a sex goddess in the bedroom.
I must be one of the few people that still believe romance and intelligence are far more important in a long lasting relationship than a rumble in the bedroom. I could give sex a miss and have a guy who is respectful, loyal, caring, loving and intelligent any day.
I hear you loud and clear. What a shame, eh?
I agree with much of what you said, but don’t ever underestimate the importance of making love. I believe that is a key ingredient to a succesful and enduring relationship.
I would like to be able to make love until I drop. I think it incredibly important…but without a connection the line is dead. I do not underestimate its power but I also don’t give it all the control. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays Mr. Cup! 🙂
ha ha..I did this once in college with a woman I was in love with…ended up getting mono. Indeed…it is just a piece of the puzzel but a big piece nonetheless 😉
Um…in the snow? A hospital? High school locker room?
ha ha…nope…apartment or dorm room…but too many times over a span of a week…wore my immune system down…and I was in good shape as I played college ball…just a couple rabbits!