A quick (really quick) review regarding the pros’s and con’s of not having children can be summed up easily at my age. Yes, it’s sad to miss out on the rite of passage: giving birth. But it’s also nice to have slim hips and no stretch marks. I still have nice hips but they aren’t as flexible in certain yoga postures like birthing hips are. Yes, it’s a bummer not being able to use my innate motherly qualities (not every woman has them by the way), but there are many children that need that love and nurturing. I do miss the fun one has with children because dancing with a kid like a lunatic is quite invigorating. That said, the music today makes me miss the days of The Go Go’s and even The Spice Girls.
My God is music for kids today scary. It’s beyond scary, it’s insulting.
I had drinks with a neighbor the other night and she told me that her 17 year old son is a drummer obsessed with Jazz. Imagine that? Seriously, imagine it. Quite amazing if you ask me. It gives me hope.
But on a sadder note, even the women I know who have had children have something in common with whacky, bohemian me: they are single. I used to blame myself (easy to do) for my dating woes but how can I know so many single women? We can’t all have the same affliction can we? I know women that are married to wonderful men and these women should be drawn and quartered for their behavior; yet I know a host of decent, beautiful women who are single.
It could be our age group, it could be the city, it could be a million things. The one thing we do all have in common is that we are fairly independent. But none of these women want to be “the man” in a relationship. They are just used to taking care of themselves, their children and whatever comes with the life of a single, middle aged woman.
And hey- this is Los Angeles; these women are BEAUTIFUL. All different looking, all different in every way actually. Another thing we have in common is that we are really strong, perhaps too strong- like pioneer women. That doesn’t mean that these women do not have soft skin, soft hearts, and the desires of any woman.
So perhaps at our age we bum rush the show on certain men because we don’t have time to lose. We understand that time is precious, that we are precious and that men are precious too. But if I can read, write, cook, drive a truck, paint, use a skill saw, get a manicure, wear heels and a tight dress, that doesn’t mean I don’t want a man to do the same. Okay so I don’t want a man to wear a dress and heels but you get my drift.
We don’t want equals, we just want courage. We still want a man to defend our honor – not tell us we were doing fine and could handle a masher on our own. These are the kind of men we know- the lazy knights too full of mead and too self-absorbed to come to our aid. If you say the word Chivalry they think it is a strip club.
Chivalry is a dead word.
I’m ever hopeful because one must be; but it makes me sad to see all the damaged people out there in the world. As I’ve said before, scratch the surface on most adults and there is a story. Everyone has their battle scars, some more visible than others but we have to keep moving. We must remain hopeful and crave knowledge, write poetry, cook, garden, dance, make asses out of ourselves. The God’s approve.