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Official portrait of J. Robert Oppenheimer, fi...

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Way back in the 80’s when Area 51 was getting more attention why didn’t I chuck the artist thing and open a concession stand, a mini-mart or a nice desert bar? Honestly I would probably own Necker Island now instead of Branson. Oh well hindsight, etc.

I have a theory about UFO’s. Would you care to hear it? Really? How kind.

After watching Ancient Alien’s on the History Channel about a million times (I can’t get enough of that dude with the crazy hair) and other shows on unidentified flying objects it seems to me a rather easy explanation. First of all the military has all kinds of cool inventions, gadgets, space craft, weapons, etc., that we will never know about. I am not a conspiracy theorist in any sense of the word but the government knows how to find some of the most brilliant people on the planet and put them to work.

When I was growing up there was a sweet, crusty old man who lived down the block. The only thing I knew about him was that he was a scientist and that he would bring me little sticks of wood glued to a wooden base with cocoon’s attached. In time he told me to watch what happened and sure enough one day the cocoons were empty and 2 beautiful butterflies were flying around my bedroom. With all the nightmares of my youth flying around the house, these were a very happy presence.

When the old man died I found out that he had been one of the scientists that worked on the atom bomb. He had worked at Los Alamos but all I knew of him was his kindness. My point is that human beings can keep secrets.

One hundred years ago we could never fathom half of the inventions we take for granted today. So what is to prevent us from inventing time travel? Trust me there are people all over the world working on it and they are closer than you think. So my theory goes like this: if we invent time travel 100 years from now wouldn’t that explain most of the nonsense people are seeing and experiencing as UFO’s? There are ancient hieroglyphics, and pre-Columbian art with what look like human beings in space suits and if you were an astronaut with a sense of humor wouldn’t you fuck with people’s heads just a bit ala Marty McFly?

100 years ago if you were to have seen the F117A Nighthawk you probably would have to go have your head checked. This machine is so beautiful and scary it looks like a giant, black moth. Little green men with giant heads? 10 bucks it’s a small astronaut with high-tech gear on his head that is illuminated with green LED‘s.

There. I’ve explained it. Now can we move on? Someone tell me where to open a concession stand.

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