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Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), left, and D...

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Disclaimer: I am not a Star Wars fanatic but I loved it just like everyone else back in the day. The follow ups were questionable and corny but still watchable. And I’m pretty sure JJ Abrams can create a clean story. So I’m re-blogging something I wrote in 2011 because…well, I just wanted to. Instead of writing something new I’m going to drool over the glassy ocean and yearn for a new paddle board.

Perhaps there are some of you who when bored on a weekend find yourselves watching the Star Wars (I almost said trilogy so that shows you how old I am) Saga (?) – whatever, you end up watching one or all of the Star Wars movies?

No? Well occasionally I do. Since I’ve established that television makes me nervous and I’m only happy when watching Brian Cox, you might be surprised to find that I will watch Star Wars or even The Lord Of The Rings…trilogy. There are just some movies that have a comforting vibe to them when on tv. I don’t really have to watch or listen, I can do all kinds of other things around the house but have it on in the background. (Did I ever mention that’s a good way to learn to love opera? Turn it on and clean the house.)

Not too long ago I had one of those weekends and I got to thinking about Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, the dark side, etc. Mark Hamill is pretty cheesy when you think about it and Harrison Ford is a total ham. No need to go into the princess. I hated the movie where they went to the planet with all the stuffed animals – and I’m a huge Jim Henson fan. I think my brother and I booed and walked out when they started that creepy song. But hey, it was entertainment and when the first one came out I was only 11 or 12 and it was mind blowing.

What I can’t figure out is what the end game was for the dark-sider’s. Let’s say Darth got his way, then what? Ever notice there are NO chicks hanging around the storm troopers? Girls were either hookers or slaves, even the female aliens were trashy! The death star was void of female interns too. I know there must be a Lucas metaphorical thing going on and that it’s good versus evil but if one were to get literal about it, what was Darth up to? So the bad guys win, then what? Control the universe and pollute it with clones? Boring!

Did Darth and Palpatine ever discuss a plan and I just missed it? Were they planning on building condos over the lush landscape of the ewoks? I might have gotten behind that plan.

Anyway, besides all the boo-hooing I’ve done lately, I’ve had serious thoughts as well and this was one of them.

And by the by, I am one of those people who liked the narration version of Blade Runner. So there.