Let me be clear about something, I do not care for the term “cougar” in relation to women 40 and older. I find it derogatory. My sense of humor and irony are well honed but any term that stereotypes women isn’t for me. Sure Courtney Cox can have a show thusly named but if she were single she might think twice about it. The reason I don’t like it is because it connotes desperation. It suggests that any single woman over the age of 40 will take any dude under 30, into her bed and wallet. I guess what I really dislike is that men (and now women) openly snicker at us. Yes, I am over 40 and single. I am not desperate for a man and certainly have no use for one who has barely lived long enough to know that at one point in time Jan Michael Vincent was as hot and as popular as Brad Pitt.
But I digress. Not too long ago I found myself in the company of a group of men ranging in age from 17 to 48. They were having a good chuckle at what they called “cougars”. One of the young men had the number of a “cougar” on his phone- he had met her the previous weekend. The other men encouraged him to call her but he said he wasn’t in the mood for her that night. Instead, he gave her number to one of the other men present. They were having a good laugh at this woman’s expense. Who knows, maybe she enjoys being passed around like a bong. As we all got up to leave, I had to mention that I would be considered a cougar in their books because I was over 40 and single. After their initial shock, they all balked and assured me up and down that I didn’t fall into that category.
Oh to be a fly on the wall amongst them after my departure! Personally, there was not a trait that any held which could have convinced me to lure them into my den.
Before anyone lectures me regarding the power emboldened to women capturing men 20 years younger, and that men have been doing it for year’s, etc. Let me say that this is just my opinion. It’s not my bag. And speaking of bags, I am not one. I may not be Demi Moore, but I’m told I’m pleasant to look at.
There are times I miss the company of men but I won’t debase myself because I’m lonely. I love being in my 40’s. I was a total mess in my 20’s, just plain stupid in my 30’s and had no appreciation of the super nubile body of my teens. Let’s just think back a bit to dear (old) Joan Collin’s. Remember when she married a much younger man? How about Ivana Trump? Liza Manelli anyone? As I recall, these women were raked through the coals and ridiculed on late night talk shows. I’m just saying…
And so I go forth into the dating world…of men in their 40’s who show up with bad coffee breath and clothes that smell of mothballs.
Perhaps, Demi has a point. But labeling anyone just isn’t my thing.