Arts, Chivalry, Cupid, Dating, Dating advice, Flower, Ganges, I hate dating, Love, midlife, OkCupid, Online Writing, Relationships, Romance, Selfconfidence, sex
As foretold, with a wee bit of time Cupid’s arrow wears off with only a slight hangover from its original dose. A solid week from being shot I am far better, and very little residual remains. It’s like watching a boat sail away into the distance; very vivid up close, then gradually a fading vision of beauty. Goodnight to that.
Time can heal anything if we let it. It heals, resolves, and allows perspective and wisdom…if we let it. When we act from a hormonal, emotional, irrational place nothing good comes from it. Unless you are making art.
I think Cupids original plan has slowly been whittled away into the common trash that we now consider Love in our society. Love, infatuation, obsession, or a crush brings shame and violence too often. We are so harsh with each other and especially to ourselves, instead of patting each other on the back and saying ‘we’ve all been there”, we grimace inwardly, point fingers, cringe, sigh and thank the stars it isn’t us. Even worse, some act like petulant children and go postal. Yet when we are struck by beauty in any form there is no control no matter who you are or what you are in love with. Hopefully there is no personality disorder in play and things will move on a safe and healthy course.
Immediate gratification is the name of the game today and Love’s true gift never has a chance to truly unfurl, which could possibly tell us that it is not true love at all. Because Chivalry is not only dead, it’s been drawn, quartered, burned to ash and thrown into the Ganges, when we think we have been rejected we go into a panic. There are no letters hand written, flowers given, polite calls made with a gentle “no”. You are thrown back into shark-infested waters as if you are not fit for human consumption, and even the sharks thumb their noses at you. You aren’t even chum for a text.
So Time is your friend. As they say, if you are in a fight, before you say something you regret, take a walk around the block. Calm down. Remember who you are, what you love (besides the object of your desire), why you love, and that it takes 2 to tango. We all have a role in what happens to us. Given enough time, we can see what that role is; operate from a rational place instead of flying head long into despair.
Feel the ground beneath your feet, remember whom you are as an individual, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again.
In my case I do not wish to date anymore. There are dates to be had, but I’ve had enough. Perhaps in time I will change my mind but right now, I am enjoying my life and have no need for the approval of a man to make myself “complete”. I know what I have to offer.
But as my teacher likes to say, “whatever comes is welcome” and I will go from there.