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The only thing wrong with not going out all the time is that your friends complain. They bitch and moan about how anti-social you are, they call when you are in the middle of the “creative process” but figure you are doing nothing anyway so why not chat for an hour or so and they think you are angry with them because you don’t answer your phone for a day.

The so-called “creative process” is a lengthy, painful, boring, tedious, and agonizing business. One doesn’t just say, “Hey I’m going to write the great American novel today!” and then sit down and do it. Even if the idea for the novel is there, getting it out of your head is the next step. Same thing goes with painting. If I have a subject to paint, that doesn’t mean I can just start painting. Everything can be set up; paints, brushes, canvases, wine, all at the ready…but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it. There is a certain amount of cajoling the psyche that has to take place first: nudging, coddling, and sometimes berating. It could be fear based I suppose but whatever the beast is that prevents the creativity from beginning, it is a nasty one.

Which brings me back to anti-social behavior. One can’t just drop the brush because someone wants to “hang out”. Well you could but then the beast has one on you and is even more vicious upon your return. Quite frankly, it just hurts. It hurts that the work of art will not live up to your ideal, it hurts that you may be the only one who cares about whatever it is you are creating, and it hurts to let go of the truly boring ticker tape running through the brain that says; “You suck so don’t bother.”

And yet…when you finally get the ball rolling, the magic begins. Even if whatever you have created is a real dog; you have been released, purified, exorcized, and validated. The best part about it is that only you can take the credit- it’s your dog and somehow you feel as though you can conquer the world.

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